As a journalist, I understand the pros and cons of staying connected on social media. While it can make reconnecting with old friends easier, it can also make our connections feel less deep. Recent research suggests that familiarity can make reaching out to someone easier, and social media can provide a baseline of familiarity. According to Aknin, people often cross our minds and our feeds on social media, prompting us to consider reaching out to them.
If you’re feeling hesitant about rekindling an old friendship, you’re not alone. Peggy Liu, a psychologist at the University of Pittsburgh, notes that surprise can amplify feelings of appreciation when someone receives a message after a period of no contact. Lablanca reassures that the fear of not being wanted by the other person is often unfounded, and that most people would be excited to reconnect. Taking the first step to reach out can be well worth it in the end.
Lablanca advises that while social media can help us keep up with old friends on a surface level, truly reactivating an old tie requires a real conversation like a phone call or in-person interaction. If you’re feeling hesitant about reaching out to an old friend, start by sending messages to current friends first to get in the groove before changing the recipient’s name to someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.
